Anthem
by Fearlessness721
Summary: A songfic based loosely on the song Amber wrote and performed at Open Mic Night.  Focused on Sarah, Amber, and Drew.  How has being Seth's family made them into the people they are today?


Author's Note: I don't own the characters from Parenthood, and I don't own the song, which is Graveyard Song, written and performed by Mae Whitman

_Smoke make me lose my memories  
Drink make my body fail  
Hanging around 'til two or three  
Treating me well  
I've been thinking about getting clean  
Rising up at a decent hour  
Will you wake me when you leave?  
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm_

Sarah and Amber sat side by side, watching Seth drive off into the night. Sarah contemplated everything that had happened since Seth came to town. Things seemed to be going okay for the most part…but you never could really tell with Seth. One moment everything would be fine and the next everything would spiral out of control. Seth could leave quite a trail of destruction in his wake, and she didn't want her children to be part of that devastation. She'd moved them to Berkeley to make a better life for them, to let them find out who they were and what it felt like to be surrounded by people who loved them unconditionally. She wanted to protect them from everything. But how could she protect them from their father? Seth was a part of them, he'd helped make them. He was in their blood…she couldn't protect them from everything.

Sarah shook her head to dispel the thoughts of Seth and studied her daughter. Amber, her beautiful little girl, had turned into this beautiful, mysterious creature seemingly overnight. She was so grown up, so level headed. Sometimes Sarah wondered where she had come from. "Hey." Sarah said, wanting Amber to look at her, and Amber did just that. "I'm proud of you." She informed her.

Amber rolled her eyes slightly, "Here we go." She mouthed off.

"No, listen." Sarah pleaded. "I've been meaning to talk to you. That was great, what you did for Drew. Going to your dad's thing last week, that was…that was good. I…."

"Mom," Amber interrupted, eyes rolling again, head tilted to one side, obviously ready to bolt. Sarah caught her wrist, held her back. This girl…so much like her sometimes. She saw herself in Amber every day. "Really, we're going to do this?" Amber asked, exasperated.

"Just for a second," Sarah promised. "Really, I know you didn't want to go. I know you did it for Drew, and that really helped me out. I…I felt better, with you there with him."

"Okay." Amber said, uncomfortable, ready to end this conversation and squelch all further conversations that had to do with Seth Holt, his concert, his band, even her brother. She couldn't remember the last time she and Drew had been at odds like this. He was her wingman, her sidekick…and she completely disagreed with what he was doing, how he was handling Seth being in town. First sneaking around, and then getting into a fight at school…none of this was Drew. Seth had changed him, even in the brief time he'd been back in town, back in their lives. And she missed who he had been before Seth had come around.

"You were really mature about it. I don't think I told you that before." Sarah was continuing, her blue eyes searching her daughter's darker ones. "You did the right thing, persuading Drew to tell me what was going on. Your father…your father can be dangerous. He…well, you know that. You remember things…some things, right?"

Amber nodded. "I remember things." She admitted.

"I want…I want more for you…for both of you, you and Drew." Sarah said. "I want for you to be able to have a relationship with your dad, if you want that…but I also want to be able to protect you from him…because I don't trust him. Things…things could get really bad with him. I'm afraid that you and Drew don't remember, maybe don't realize…how bad it used to get."

"Mom, I know." Amber broke in.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They were both quiet for awhile, Sarah contemplating how much Amber really did know, and Amber wondering what it would take for Seth to leave them alone and for their lives to settle back into a routine again. Sarah reached for her daughter's hand. "Mom?" Amber said, and her voice wavered for just a second, a little unsure.

Sarah didn't say anything, just watched while tears welled up in her daughter's eyes as she revealed, "I don't want him here." And with those words, she disentangled her hand from her mother's grasp, got up, and strode into the house.

"I know." Sarah whispered, now alone, the night quiet around her. She hugged her knees to her chest, trying to suppress the tears that threatened at her eyelashes. "I know."

_It's been so much better than I can say  
It will be sad when you go  
Since there is not an easy way  
I'll just say, "Hello."  
There's no such thing as the end  
There are only new beginnings  
I'll be seeing you again…  
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm_

In the solitude of her bedroom, Amber picked up her guitar and began fiddling around with a few chords. She'd received very few things from her father: Her eye color, only a slight shade variation from her mom's; her love for music; a few guitar skills; and more heartache and frustration than any child should have to deal with from a parent.

She found herself humming the song she'd written just a few weeks before. There were shades of her dad in there…not only his style, his musical talent passed along to her, but also his life and his story weaved among the lyrics.

She sighed, leaning against her headboard. Drew didn't remember the things she remembered. It didn't matter that there wasn't much age difference between them. He was younger, and he had blocked some of it out. Maybe he had been too little to remember; maybe he just didn't want to remember how bad it had been. It was probably harder for him, as a male, to not have his dad in his life. It had to be harder than it was for her, at least. Not that it was a walk in the park for her. A kid's dream is to have two parents who are always there for them…but unfortunately that had never been in the cards for Amber and Drew. She knew her mom felt guilty just for choosing him, marrying him, having Amber and Drew with him. She'd admitted as much to them in the past. She wished she had chosen a different dad for them. Amber couldn't look at it that way, however. Had her mom chosen someone else, she wouldn't be the person she was…she might not even be at all.

She finally had a life here, a good life…she had family and she had her mom and she had her brother and she did not need him here, did not want him here. She was happy, she was doing well in school…her mom really had made a better life for them. Maybe it wasn't ideal, living with Nana and Pop, but it was something. It was more than her life would have ever been had they stayed with Seth.

And then he showed up…claiming to want some sort of relationship. No mention of all of the years he was missing from their lives, all of the times he should have been there and wasn't, all of the things he should know about them and didn't. Amber couldn't wait for him to pack his bags and return to Fresno or to the road or to wherever the hell he was going next. She would be happy to wave goodbye and put this all behind her.

Her only fear was that he would take her brother with him when it was time for him to go.


End file.
